Being Your Best Self at Family Time

Light in The Dark 1 Light in the Dark 2 Meaningful Staying in Touch Without Technology Nourishing the Sparks of Connection with Adopted Children Being Your Best Self at Family Time Conversation Starters for Children and Families Being Your Best Self When Staying in Touch Nourishing the Sparks of Connection Whilst Your Child is in Care

Being Your Best Self at Family Time ( PDF, 115.3 KB)

View

Being your best self at Family Time*/Contact

Remember to care for yourself so time spent with your child can be as positive as possible.

* Family Time is the preferred term for the meet-ups or other communications that children who are in care, or don’t live with their parents, have with them.

Ask for help	To give you space To support your choices To talk about what is going on for you To understand your feelings To process changes To exchange photos with your child if permitted To write letters to your child
Self-awareness	Do a mindfulness colouring-in book to ground yourself Sit somewhere quiet and focus on regular breaths Start tracking your moods Connect to your special place
Self-care and healing	Take time out just for you Relax with friends Power your body with good food Keep a journal of how you feel Listen to music that brings you joy Be active – you can even dance inside your home! Take a walk in nature Get crafty – make something to give your child
Create an action plan	Start with small steps Draw a picture of your plan List what you need to get on track Seek support to make your plans a reality
Notice and celebrate successes	Count the small things – even if it’s getting out of bed! Track each thing you have done to reach your goal Keep records of courses, community sessions or workshops you have attended
Make small goals	For your personal growth For your time with children and family members For making Family Time more positive For reigniting important connections

Check in with your feelings as Family Time approaches and after it ends.

Ask yourself:

What helps me feel grounded and stable?

What makes me feel out of control?

What helps me show my child they are loved?

What do others notice when I am doing well?

What can I do to make the Family Time good?

Know your limits and your triggers
Notice and accept the feelings that come up
Have some games and activities up your sleeve
Pack some healthy snacks

Things to remember:

Quality is more important than quantity when it comes to time together.
Do something nice for yourself or arrange to speak to someone after Family Time to prevent a downward spiral.
Have some strategies in mind for when you are finding things hard.

What if I am not feeling okay?

Ask to have a phone or video visit instead this time
Talk to people involved in the Family Time about your feelings so they don’t misunderstand why your not there

Things to remember:

Give as much notice as possible if you need to cancel Family Time and suggest an alternative so your child knows you want to see them.
If you continue to struggle with Family Time, get professional help and support to work out a way to get Family Time back on track.
The hard moments will pass.

This resource has been produced by Adoption England. This resource is based on a series developed by the research Centre for Children & Families, Sydney School of Education & Social Work and the ARC Linkage Project Fostering Lifelong Connections for Children in Permanent Care. The original resource was co-designed with experts-by-experience, Tegan Whittaker and Chantelle Rozzi.